It is mid-February, which means many people are starting to emerge from the seasonal downers of one kind of another. The existence of winter blues in the lives of so many turned my mind to the issue of happiness.
The Independent online, 24 July 2012 reported the following:
"The average Briton rates their "life satisfaction" as 7.4 out of 10, according to the first annual results of David Cameron's so-called happiness index."
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/first-annual-results-of-david-camerons-happiness-index-published-7972861.html
Leaving aside the many questions raised by the idea of a Government having a Happiness Index, I would like to invite you to consider one thing: Is being happy a good thing?
Thanks to Mark Ashworth for the following thoughts on this matter.
Happy reading!
Happiness
Within my life I’m considering constantly what would actually make me happy? The more I think about it though, the more I think seeking happiness isn’t the right question. Why do I say that?I say that because I’m starting to feel that striving for happiness is actually counterproductive. If I embraced the fact that I’m not going to be happy for a part of the time in my life and that feeling unhappy is actually just as important as feeling happy, that would actually make me feel…..happier.
Quite convoluted but let me try to explain.
When I think back on my life and honestly consider the happiest moments, I’d have to say it’s a pretty mixed bag. They include work achievements, the thrill of closing big deals, sporting wins, having a particularly fantastic meal, romantic moments / periods of my life, sitting playing computer games with no worries, days out in the country etc.
All of those happy moments come with opposites. The hundreds of cold calls to get the prospect including all the rejections to find the one deal which closes, the hours in the gym to prepare for the sporting event, the rubbish meals which give me a base to understand what was actually a good meal, the heart crunching break ups, having little free time to make the actual free time feel special so I can play games or have a day out.
You may say this is obvious but I disagree. I would say media and society in general pushes individuals to feel pressurised to reach this ideal constant happiness, something which is obviously unrealistic, but also, I would suggest, not providing a rewarding and enriching life. I’d suggest most of us try to avoid feelings of unhappiness like the plague.
If you believe that feelings of unhappiness are just as important and actually enrich your life by creating strong opposites then you can be comfortable with where you are in the present.
I see happiness a little like a drug. Take too much and your threshold for feeling the effects of happiness increase. You need stronger feelings and more of it to feed your desire for happiness. To the point where feeling physically happy is incredibly difficult.
Now of course the opposite is also true, constant unhappiness, is incredibly difficult. Which means unfortunately we are back to life being about a balance, which does annoy me as it is so clichéd but I feel in this instance an appropriate and important one.
So, if I switch my thinking to actually embracing the fact that unhappy feelings, pain, hurt, grief are natural feelings that will actually enrich my life and help me appreciate the happy feelings, that actually feels quite liberating. I think what I’m trying to say is: don’t be afraid of being unhappy, it’ll make you happier.
MARK ASHWORTH
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